50 Ways to Leave your Lover

Paul Simon had a decent hit with the tune, "50 Ways to Leave your Lover."  I really like the song, but Paul shortchanged us on the ways there are to leave your lover.  I don't doubt him, mind you, I just think between myself and the Internet community we should be able to verify there really are 50 ways to leave your lover.

For this list, we'll take Paul's point of view and just have men's names in the list.  Nothing crude, please.  E-mail your suggestions here, including what name or e-mail address you'd like me to post with your suggestion.  If I receive more than 50, I'll post more than 50:

Way to Leave your Lover

Who Wrote It

1

Just slip out the back, Jack

Paul Simon

2

Make a new plan, Stan

Paul Simon

3

No need to be coy, Roy

Paul Simon

4

Hop on the bus, Gus (no need to discuss much)

Paul Simon

5

Just drop off the key, Lee (and get yourself free)

Paul Simon

 

 

 

6

Get a new start, Art

Mary Jane

7

Give her a call, Paul

Mary Jane

8

Start seeing a guy, Mordici

Mary Jane

9

Start seeing a girl, Earl

Mary Jane

10

Take a hike, Mike

Mary Jane

11

Get big and fat, Matt

Mary Jane

12

Smell like an old cod, Todd

Mary Jane

13

Just bike around France, Lance

Mary Jane

14

Send her some spam, Sam

Mary Jane

15

Light a new spark, Mark

Mary Jane

16

Weep, wail and sob, Bob

Mary Jane

17

Chase a new skirt, Bert

Mary Jane

18

Be a real jerk, Kirk

Mary Jane

19

Just stop carin’, Aaron

Mary Jane

20

Yank off the rug, Doug

Mary Jane

21

Drink an extra liter, Peter

Mary Jane

22

Light a new spark, Clark

Mary Jane

23

Come home real late, Nate

Mary Jane

24

Mount a unicycle, Michael

Mary Jane

25

Get on your way, Jay

Mary Jane

26

Go on the lam - Sam

Steve H.

27

Act like you're deaf, Jeff

Jeff R.

28

Stop dressing with style, Kyle

Jeff R.

29

Start being rude, Dude

Luster G.

30

Find a different bed, Ted

Luster G.

31

Drive away in a Duster, Luster

Luster G.

32

Hide in a cave, Dave.

David G.

33

Check your Rola-dex, Tex

Hal H.

34

March out the door, Thor

Hal H.

35

Find a new pal, Hal

Hal H.

36

Star sniffin' some glue, Hugh

Hal H.

37

Just pop a few pills, Bill

Hal H.

38

Stop being so phat, Pat

Mary Jane

39

Just act all whack, Zach

Mary Jane

40

See a new miss, Chris

Mary Jane

41

Get caught lying, Ryan

Mary Jane

42

Just get up and leave, Steve

Mary Jane

43

Hop a fast plane, Wayne

Mary Jane

44

Take a meander, Alexander

Mary Jane

45

Tell Adrian bye-bye, Sly

Mary Jane

46

No need to be suave, Rob

Mary Jane

47

Act like an automan, Stan

Mary Jane

48

Head for the hills, Wills

Mary Jane

49

Bake a new cake, Jake

Mary Jane

50

No need to be smart, Bart

Mary Jane

51

Become a hermit, Kermit

Kermit Yuen       

52

Vacate the Club, G-Dub

StevenT.com       

53

Cast off the dock, Barack

StevenT.com